Suki recently touched on the changes in raw diets. I have also noticed these shifts and it made me think about how uniquely different all of our journey’s are.  While discovering and transitioning to a raw lifestyle it can be easy to look up to the popular figures out there, I know I have and still do. But what is also a key in maintaining and succeeding in the lifestyle is remembering your individuality.  That’s why I feel compelled to share my raw parenting story.

Being a young single mother in itself is a journey. The support I have has left me feeling blessed in this role. As you may know I am the proud mother of a beautiful, lively 5 year old prince.  I often share that he is my reason for going raw.

While I was raised vegan in my infant and toddler years and later transitioned to a vegetarian diet, I reached a point in my life where I had realized that it wasn’t enough.  When my son was about 2 years I started to go through a transition.  I had a successful job that I loved, was able to take care of myself and my son and had the support of my mother and my son’s father who was still very involved. I thought I had everything I needed, yet I would come home exhausted and was constantly depressed and feeling lonely.

I remember my weekday routine: pick my son up and drive home, upon opening the door I immediately turned on the t.v. for either him or me.  I would boil up pasta or heat up risotto and let him for the most part play and fend for himself.  At whatever point he didn’t need me I would fall asleep on the couch.  After awakening to what was really going on... I took up exercise and somehow raw food came to me.  After having my first raw meal at Juliano’s Raw in Santa Monica, I remember walking down the 3rd Street Promenade and feeling high! There was a Border’s on the promenade that I walked into and picked up Raw Food, Real World. I was intrigued by Sarma’s testimonial on clear eyes.  So that was the start of a journey that still continues. 

Little did I know that this lifestyle I undertook for the promise of great energy and glowing skin would change me so deeply.  Now I was among the ecstatic glowing, HAPPY raw food world.  I found new friends, that blew me away. I had a new boyfriend who started the journey with me, (Juliano’s was one of our first dates).  So now my whole vision as a parent is completely turned around. 

It’s one thing to go raw on your own. You can change your life and go with the flow... but what happens when another human is dependent on you?  We all know a raw foodie (or a hundred) who have quit their job to travel, start a raw business,  or become a yogi.  We all ultimately reach a point where all else fades away and the vision of Pandora has replaced the societal conforms we were raised on.  So how do you think my son’s conservative father reacts when I exclaim that my goal is to find land in Hawaii and move my son and I there. 

My son and I are blessed enough to have a man in our life that will fight to stay involved.  Through my experiences with my own father, I took this for granted at first. I longed for total control. I wanted more than anything to run away with my little angel and raise him in the wild, a la Anastasia.  In my mind, his dad was so out of touch so why would he need him. I had a raw boyfriend that was willing to step into the father role. Yet, our relationship wasn’t meant to last. 

Fast forward to the present.  After a whirlwind year off being off and on a relationship roller coaster, I feel I have finally worked through the strong urge I had for a partner.  I had in fact felt that I couldn’t be independent and happy. It was something held onto so tightly, yet couldn’t see until everything had fallen away from me.  I entered this year with a new clear vision, feeling stronger than ever with myself and my solitude.  I decided to take a year long vow of celibacy, and invest in some healing and building time. 

Now that my personal growth in order, the relationship with my son’s father will always be there.  Funny thing is I let go the need to control my own life and as a bonus I magically matured and am now able to give up control of the people that are involved in my life.

My son took warmly to raw foods when I first embarked on it.  He often questioned where food came from and what it was made of.  Then I noticed as I started to become a raw holy roller and would preach angrily at my son’s father.  My son struggled with asthma since he was an infant, and after reading about the Boutenkos I longed to heal my son’s asthma through raw food. Instead of being content with my son’s enthusiasm for green smoothies and veggies I focused more on the people in my son’s life that were still feeding him unhealthy food. 

My own reactions came back to bite my in my green booty.  My son’s father would happily ignore my concerns, and next thing you know my son is rebelling against his “raw foodie head” mom.  I held onto to my son’s instinctual attraction to whole food to keep me sane... then came kindergarten.

I remember being the only vegetarian kid in school, with a lunch packet with almond butter and honey sandwiches and chocolate soy milk boxes, while my school mates ate the school prepared pepperoni pizzas and “fruit” juices without a second thought.  Looking back on it, I realize that I got in the habit of not eating at school, out of shame for my different food. 

But now we live in an age where you can get soy milk in your latte at Starbucks!  So I wouldn’t think that my son would have a hard time with the kindergarten crowd.  I soon realized that about 98% of Kaj’s class get’s school provided lunch.  My little baby that was once a proud veggie head making sure he was not being fed cow’s milk or pepperoni pizza was now curious about “the dark side”.  Twice I received notes that he had school lunch, when he had a complete lunch at school with him.  I figured out that he conveniently “forgot” about his lunch to get school lunch.

I had some difficult moments seeing my child curious and longing for what I consider government subsidized poison.  What a stretch for me! I got to a point where I felt safe in my diet, in my little raw food bubble.  The bliss bubble can easily be bursted when the very being that you are living for is being exposed to all that you avoid and fight against. 

It really makes you step back and evaluate.

What really matters?

Is it fighting against the corruption and oppression of our inherently blissful existence, or is it embracing and seeing the beauty in EVERYTHING! 

This is what they mean when they say raw food changes everything. Seeing my son and I go through our journey has shown me that it’s not just about food and health. We have the opportunity to grow and share in our journey. It’s about giving the love that we are so present to through our lifestyle choice, and giving it so freely and deeply. 

I cannot be angry at my son for his curiosity, as I cannot fear that he is not getting the best food possible. All I can do is enjoy him, love him and be an example to him.  I feel more and more everyday that he is just as much my teacher as I am his. For he chose to come into this world through two parents who will share with him a variety of life’s choices. 

And now that I have relaxed and let go... I am amazed to see my son’s dad can’t go a day without a green smoothie!  This wasn’t my doing, but his own exploration. 

Now that I have let go and stopped focusing on the fear of raising a son in two very different households... I see us speaking to each other with more maturity and respect then we have in the ten years we have known each other.  Now I see we aren’t so different after all. 

We are all one, and we all have the opportunity to step beyond the facades and love unconditionally.  So whether you have a partner that is not adapting to your lifestyle, or a parent, friend, etc. know that it’s something that doesn’t need to be fought against. As much as you may feel hurt for them or their choices.....what they need more than anything is your love.  Challenge yourself to step out of the bubble and into a place a little more uncomfortable. For when you do this, you help all to heal.

Here is a little peak into what happens when I let go of being in control and let my son remind me of how playful raw food can be. He’s exploring and learning and he loved this almond milk, because he put his love into it. This concept is something I can give him that extends beyond any endless list of food facts.